HOW WILL YOU BE REMEMBERED?

Most people have a signature “something” which makes the memorable—whether they’re familiar, famous or infamous. Ethel Merman was one such person.

A couple years ago a famous performer from the musical theater came to visit me. When I realized who she was, I immediately pictured her most distinctive quality. She was larger than life, with a voice to match.

That triggered a trip down memory lane where it was easy to identify traits I remembered about other famous people. For Michael Jackson, his white socks, the moonwalk, his horrible plastic surgery, and Neverland all flashed in my mind. When I thought of Dean Martin—it was the glass of booze in his hand, him strolling the stage in a tuxedo, and how he delivered a ballad. With Mahatma Gandhi it was his round wire glasses as he walked the streets of India wrapped in a dhoti. Abraham Lincoln’s recollection produced images of his stove pipe hat, his height and freeing the slave after the Civil War. There is no question people have their memorable signatures.

Now back to my visitor. When I realized it was Ethel Merman (1908-1984), I could instantly hear her powerful voice on the musical theatre stage singing, “There’s No Business, Like Show Business”. Her performances in Hello Dolly and Auntie Mame also created a lasting impression of this woman who was bigger than life, as were the characters she portrayed.

Ethel Merman was referred to as “the Undisputed First Lady of the Musical Comedy Stage.” This is what she shared about the purpose for her life and one significant thought she wanted to leave for us.

“Well, Sandy, I guess I was bigger than life. The characters I brought to the stage were bigger than life, too. Big voice, big presence and big life. It was all wonderful.

“Not sure what my role really was there except to entertain, to bring joy where I could and to help people pass the time with (the)characters I portrayed who provided inspiration, example and a dose of energy to some lives who were lacking that.

“Isn’t it funny what the people in show business do? They become other people, they act out stories and they sing or dance their hearts out—really for acceptance and applause. I think there is something lacking with us. It is really more than a craft, it’s a need. Boy, I must have had a big one.

“I know you remember who I was, and I think you enjoyed some of my music and the roles I played. That brings me joy. Everyone wants to be appreciated, and they can be in their normal lives too, if they are an example of something positive to their friends and families.

“Maybe their gift is listening—maybe it’s a natural humor—maybe it’s some creative talent expressed in cooking, decorating, sewing or gardening—maybe it’s being kind and helpful or just loving the devil out of those close to them. Everyone, when they pass, will be remembered for something.

“What do you think people will remember about you? A thought to ponder. Ethel Merman”

Do you have any idea? You can start with thinking about the people in your life, all who have distinctive signatures too. Their identity can be built on what each person did professionally, a physical feature, their personal behavior or quirky traits that stick in our mind.

For example, I had a friend who talked and talked and talked. In fact, I had two women friends like that over the years who were impossible to get off the phone even after 2-hours. Another person I knew had a natural wit and amazing sense of humor; another had a smile that lit up the room and personality to match; one with the tender heart who always had time for others; and another who was just an incredible listener. One had beautiful red hair, another was a car collector and of course, everybody knows a rescuer—who tries to save those he or she cares about. We all have people in our lives like that. It’s a fun exercise for a long train ride and is especially fascinating when we start with family members. If the trait is compatible, we see the person often but if the trait is incompatible, we see them less.

Now, think about your own image. What impression do you leave with those who meet you? People who knew you at different periods of your life will undoubtedly have different impressions of you. Grade school friends will remember you one way, while professional colleagues could have a completely different opinion.

Or will they?